Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The *TOP 10* Reasons For Light Beer to Exist -- James Roswell Quinn

Early one evening, while drinking a Guinness, a man near me ordered a light beer. I couldn't help myself. I asked him, "Why?" He looked at me and started to talk ... but he was unable to speak. He just sat there with his mouth open. I wasn't really supposed to ask that question because, in fact, he really had no reason.

That got me to thinking. The stuff clearly is not meant to be consumed, so it must really have other purposes. After extensive research, I think I figured them all out. Most are pretty lame, but these are ...


10. When your bowling team or softball team wins the big game, it is fun for everybody to shake up cans of Light Beer and spray each other ... without wasting real beer.

9. When soaking corn-on-the-cob to grill, a few cans in the water add terrific taste to the corn ... without wasting real beer. This is true for all receipes that call for "beer", such as beer-battered fish.

8. They enhance the collection of Beer Can collectors.

7. When your car gets stuck in the mud or ice, the weight of three or four cases of light beer in the trunk can give you enough traction to get out. Otherwise, it seems like a nice gesture to give one of these cases to each person who helped you to get unstuck.

6. The cans are re-cyclable.

5. Put a few cans in your mother-in-law's freezer. When they explode, blame it on her drunken son. He will be pretty sure he did not do this, but he won't be able to remember for certain. This is where the fun begins. It is one of the very few ways you can safely get even with them both.

4. You can serve it with a smile when someone you do not like, unexpectedly shows up at your party.

3. Teenagers think they are really drinking.

2. Women like it.

And, the number one reason for the existence of Light Beer ...

1. Many of their commercials are really funny.

All that work has made me quite thirsty.
Pour me a pint of Guinness ... if you please.



At 4:45 PM, Blogger Brandi Jasmine said...

OMG Ross you are too funny! Of course, you can always use lite beer for beer-battered fish! ;-) ... I'll have to try it with corn on the cob. Geez, now I am hungry too!


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